How To Love And Live With An Unemployed Husband


I had come home earlier than usual so I wasn’t expecting anybody at home. I unlocked the door and went into the bedroom only to find my husband in bed. He got out of bed and came to hold me. I just knew that something was wrong so l sat down on the edge of the bed and he sat with me.

After a minute or two, l asked him why he was home so early and where the company car was. He was emotional as he broke the news to me. ” Darl, l lost my job”. We held hands for what seemed like an eternity and I told him, “we will be okay”. This was a man who loved to work. His joy was providing for his family and others. He put his needs last to take care of my siblings, paying school fees and making sure they had the education he never had. To his credit, l have siblings with professional degrees.

He is overly kind and generous and he has a servant’s heart. I have never made breakfast. He will make breakfast and serve me like l am a guest and given the chance, he would serve me in bed. He didn’t mind serving me breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed. At a point l told him, l would be obese if l let him so to make him stop, l got out of bed anytime l smelled anything cooking in the kitchen so he stopped. All he needed was my size and he would buy for me anything and l would gladly take it because he bought it for me. If l did not like it, I would subtly tell him. He loved his children and would stop at nothing to do anything for them.

I was not going to let him crush, no way! I prayed for strength and grace for the journey ahead. I prayed, cried in secret, worked, and did all sorts of jobs. He also tried everything to secure a job but nothing was forthcoming. Life didn’t suddenly become rosy. At some point, we had to pray and trust God for food, salt sugar, and other little things we took for granted. School fees were an added stress. It wasn’t easy.

My siblings begged us to concentrate on ourselves while they tried to fend for themselves. My husband insisted that we share what we had with them. They brought us the produce from their farms to support us. Such love! I wanted to further my education but l just didn’t want to leave the family struggling because l was the only income earner. He took me in his arms one morning and said “Darl, it’s fine. You can go back to school. We will survive”. I took his word and applied for school in Legon. I got it and went back to school while he tended the house. We held onto the Lord and believed Him to take away our troubles.

I went home one evening to check on the family and he told me he saw a commercial in a newspaper hiring nurses to the USA. He knew l didn’t want to leave my siblings but he highlighted how beneficial it was going to be for us and our family. He reminded me of scripture we were praying with, which says, “Remember ye, not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. The beast of the field shall honor me, the dragons and the owls: because I give waters in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert, to give drink to my people, my chosen.”Isaiah 43:18–20 KJV.

We took this scripture, ate it, believed it, prayed it into our lives, and trusted God for His favor.

There was a phone number attached to the commercial so we called. Lo and behold, it was a very close friend in charge of hiring for the health institutions in the USA. After talking to him, he said, “l will tell my brother in the US to sponsor you if you have a need.”

The whole deal was that the hospitals were sponsoring through an agency so, l was getting a double sponsorship. God had gone ahead of us in providing for this need which was bigger than us. I had to deal with paperwork, phone interviews. HR personnel flew from the US to interview prospective candidates and in the end, only four people were chosen and l was one of them.

The criteria were for one to have a CGFNS certificate and l had it. I had gotten together with a few friends a while before l went to Legon just to write this exam. That year, five people passed that exam. Four out of the five were from my study group. My joy knew no bounds.

The hospital hiring me put in my immigrant visa application for myself and my family. After everything was done, we had our visa and l flew to the US to start life. Within six weeks my family joined me. We had to start life from scratch but it was worth it. One thing we never stopped doing was putting our resources together, we believed and still believe that we are one. He never stopped managing our finances and projects. He did it respectfully knowing that it was our labor of love. We continue to be each other’s keeper even in a strange land. We are thankful for the opportunity to love and be loved.

This year, we will celebrate our thirty-seventh anniversary. We are young at heart and remain thankful. We have not changed. We continue to care and nurture and love ourselves. Such is love.


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